I was a bit upset in the afternoon today. Feeling I am not going anywhere lately (Largely bcoz of my work progress is hampered). and I was in a massive traffic jam this morning, so I was late for work. All of the music in my ears suddenly became some noise that I couldn't bear. I was somewhat troubled at heart.
I somehow lost the optimism about my work. Then texted Diana to join the hike anyway despite I had no mood for anything. came back they postponed the hike to Sunday…so I was like feeling freaking empty. ''Okay'' I thought to myself. I was restless. So I went to make a cup of coffee seeking some comfort in it. On the way back to the lab, I saw the beautiful sunset on the sea and bright sky.
I felt so at ease and peaceful after that blink. ''I am actually so blessed!'' my thought changed by God. Yes indeed God gave me this great place to work in this waiting season of my life. He wants to use the time to mold me into something He longed to change me for. I wasn't prepared for this step. But now, He made me ALL ready for this step.
Back in the office, I was like calmed down by Him completely. I thought to myself, ''yes, maybe the quietness tonight is something that He planned for me. I should make the most of it, enjoy it and know His hearty plan for me.
So I started counting the blessings that He had for me these 22 days in October. That was FULL of His blessings! I was looking at the same calendar with a troubled heart in the afternoon, back and forth October and September, wondering why I became so unproductive in October….but the TRUTH is, I have done much more in these 22 days!
How powerful a troubled heart is….and how much more powerful a thankful and humbled heart is!
I suddenly feel being humbled by Him again. I feel close to Him again.
This feeling is so great.
I was so afraid of the quietness somehow…?…Now, I appreciate it again.
Thank you God!
What He gives to me today –
''I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from Him.'' Psalm 62:1