my life is certainly not driven by
materalism like many others do. coz i can't see any difference in the value in a
same boot with the same design and colour, one selling $50 and other one selling
$500..no offense. so probably, a luxurious life doesn't really
appeal to me much.
all i want is just freedom, that i'm able to
live the way i like. no need to go to the best restaurant in town or drink the
best wine of the year coz i hv no idea what defines the best really.
Fear and guilt
drive by fear and guilt is probably
the obstacle of living God's will to fullest. i often feel guilty if i can't
meet the expectation of others. which in my golden early years as a Christian
(with strong faith), i found very peaceful coz i forget all about that idea, i
only lived to meet God's expectations.
without proper connection with God, i
started to fall back to old habit. work desperately to meet other's
expectation..which is unrealistic and not necessary..hate that self. but
couldn't help, especially you're away from God. i'm glad, that God reminds me again (again
and again…). i don't need to meet other's expectations, if i can meet His –
it's enough and it's the only thing that i need to do. Life becomes simple really, with this in
mind. It's a true blessing.
i guess this is just the same as meeting the
expectations of others. i just forget, if i meet God's bar, i actually meet
every good standards set by people (not those wicked ones). i forgot, and i
placed no trust in God's command. It turned out no good of coz.
Fall short of His standard make me less a
Christian and i lost connection with His words in the Scripture. World's messy
standards drove me nuts and sapped all my strength without the supply from
Him. Seeking approval of others is really a
suicidal action one can do. If we can stick to only seek His approval, we can
bring blessings to others and we have peace in our heart. We have much more
confidence in dealing with ourselves, our problems and others.
Thank you Lord. thank you for reminding me
once again, and never give up on me.